Sunday, March 23, 2008

LONELINESS

Imagine yourself marooned on a beautiful, virgin island, which is full of Nature’s miraculous bounties. A sun-baked white beach, with mountains on your back... Venture interiors & you find hordes of lush greenery – palm trees, wild orchards, ever-flowing waterfalls et all. Everything is yours for the taking. But as always, there’s a price tag attached to this revelry. And that is, that you are the only one of your kind in that place. The price doesn’t seem much, for you have since long craved this freedom. It isn’t too hard to imagine, isn’t it? You know why? ‘Coz after all, we all lead a similar life anyways!

We’re all alone in our exotic little island, cut-off from the rest of the world. Feasting on all the material indulgences – Armani, Gucci, Prada, Honda, Tissot, Nike, Renaissance, Marlboro, casual sex, booze, Ecstasy, rave parties… all ever-flowing wonders! And we monsters devour it all in just two-&-a-bit-something days beginning Friday night. The price? Not much, considering our six digit monthly jingle bells! For the interim five drab days – back to slogging our s*** filled a** off at our swanky little… a bit too little cubicle! By the next weekend, we’ve completely circumvented the circumference of our isle. Nothing new to discover or experience. Neither is anything in sight in our occasional accidental gaze into the horizon. So we’re back at it, off on our trodden track once again.

“Man is a social animal.” I remember this line from one of the social studies textbooks in school. Note the words ‘social’ & ‘animal’. Fact is that we’re all beasts! The only thing that keeps us unique is our sociability. Without it we would lose our essence. Did i say, “we would”? Yes, but quite mistakenly. Because actually, over the past few years we HAVE progressively lost our ‘mingling & bonding’ sense.

How long do you think this will last? How far will the utility sustain? How soon will we burnout? And while we fumble with the answers, many more are a begging. Sample these – When was the last time we lay our head in our mother’s lap, got a hair-oil massage from her, played chess with our father, helped out our junior siblings in their studies, bristled our fingers through a sleeping kid’s hair, ‘made love’ as opposed to just having sex, did charity, helped an elderly cross the street, did something… anything to make someone else smile?

When was the last time WE smiled from ‘ear-to-ear’? Or ‘eye-to-eye’ as i prefer to call it.

I guess you get the point. So let’s light a fire, make some smoke, carve out “HELP” on the sand, build an arc… Let’s do something, just anything & get us off this place ASAP! ‘Coz someday eventually, the loneliness will make us lose the only thing that’s still left with us – our sanity. Just as Tom Hanks lost it in Cast Away when he found a friend in a volleyball. And he cried too, when they were separated!

Being in “real” relationships is our basic nature. The more we stretch or bend it, the harder it will snap back.

Why am i suddenly ranting about this loneliness phenomenon? ‘Coz i see it all around me. And being lonely is the thing that i dread most. Not that i hallucinate about the furniture trying to eat me or the walls trying to crush me when i’m alone at home! No, nothing like that. It’s just that over a reasonably long period of time, you tend to feel a vacuum around you. One that sucks out all your energy from within!

Family members running all over the place, friends who got busier every passing year; some of them who couldn’t care less. Nobody seems to have the time or intent to listen to you. Patiently, selflessly & just nodding his/her head in agreement. It feels as if i’m a nobody; my very existence being denied to me. Not that i’m complaining ‘coz everyone, like me, has their own priorities. It’s just that, once in a while, the brimming heart…overflows…


P.S.: था ने कई कई मैं समझाऊँ, के थारे बिन जी ना लगे... (So many times have i explained to You, that i am so lost without You...)


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Never before did i feel so vulnerable,
And never was i so alone.

The night-sky seems darker than ever,
And the days are so forlorn.

Gone are the days of glory,
When my heart like pure gold shone.

Everything looks so hazy, except the fact,
That i must keep marching on.